Chapter 8: Stories
They were nearly to the table where the food was being served when Corrie caught up to yesterday’s class, the second one in a series on the symbolism of Tarot cards. Professor Lal hadn’t explained how they were used magically yet, only hinting that there were uses other than divination, but they were interesting to learn about. “I remember being interested in the Tarot when I was your age,” her grandma said thoughtfully. “I didn’t realize it was still around, or as old as you say it is. I might start looking into it again.”
“You could do readings for your customers at the diner,” Corrie suggested.
“Ooh, I think it’s a bit too greasy there to want to put cards down! I suppose that's all my fault--I could just clean the counters more often.”
“So you’re not doing anything with herbs and candles like we do at home?” her mom asked.
“We aren’t doing anything at all yet, remember? It’s all theory for now.” Corrie tried to picture the syllabus. The second half of the semester was coming closer every day, and Professor Lal had said that was when they would start to actually do magic. “I don’t know if we’re going to do anything like that at all. I know there’s something on the syllabus about working with the four elements, so that might be similar. The magic we learn at school does seem to be more… hmm… systematic.”
“I expect most magic, even from other pagans, is more systematic than ours!” said her mom with a laugh.
Corrie grinned. “True!” She had encountered magic that was more similar to her family’s magic, but it was associated with people she didn’t like to think about, the Circle of the Goddess club. Interesting magic wasn’t worth it if you had to work with sexist, bigoted people like them. And she had to admit to herself that even they had seemed more systematic than her family, with their preplanned chants.
When they finally had some food—for Corrie, it was fried chicken and corn on the cob, even though it was a little late in the year for that combination—they looked around for a table. Thankfully, it didn’t take as long to find one of those as it had to get the food. They picked one near the edge of the group so they wouldn’t be surrounded by noise. It was still pretty noisy, but only from one side, and the forest seemed to absorb the sound to some extent. Corrie had looked around to see if any of her friends were there with their families, but if they were, she couldn’t see them in the crowd.
The three of them continued to talk, though Corrie turned the conversation away from her and toward what her mom and grandma were up to. It might have been the weekend for them to find out about her, but she missed them and wanted to hear about their lives. Besides, her grandma was a great storyteller.
As the laughter faded away following one of her grandma’s stories about the fraught love life of one of the other chefs at the diner where she worked, Corrie heard her name being called. It was faint, but not too many other names sounded like hers. She twisted around in her chair, corn in one hand, trying to find the source of the sound. Finally she spotted Edie, walking towards them from the end of the buffet line. She waved enthusiastically.
When Edie came close enough to sit down, she saw that she was still with Leila and her parents. Edie sat down on the other side of Corrie’s mom, and Corrie made the introductions as quickly as she could.
“Quite a crowd, isn’t it?” commented Edie’s mom.
“I suppose we all want to come out and see what our newly-minted college students are up to,” said Corrie’s grandma, who was sitting next to her.
“True!” laughed Edie’s dad. “I’m surprised there are so many, though—it’s a small school. I guess a lot are like us and bring the whole family.”
“I feel bad for the people in the jazz ensemble,” said Edie’s grandmother. “They’re busy playing and can’t spend time with their family.”
“I doubt very many of them are freshmen,” said Corrie. “Our friend Annie is a musician—she plays the oboe in the school orchestra. She said there’s only two other freshmen in the orchestra, and that’s a much bigger group than the jazz ensemble.” She took a quick sideways glance at Edie to see if she had any reaction to Annie being mentioned, but she was busy in a conversation with Leila.
“Oh, is the orchestra playing this weekend?” Corrie’s mom asked. “We should go see that if one of your friends is in it.”
“I’m not sure,” Corrie said. “If we find Annie later we can ask her about it.”





Comments
Nice :)
Nice, a lunch with family :)
...and still avoiding the topic of Faeries :)
mjkj
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PS: Chapter is dislocated between chapter 1 and 2 instead of after chapter 7 — it seems to be a child of chapter 1 instead of being a child of book 5
Closer to an answer?
Now we only need Dawn to join up or Corrie (accidentally?) doing a clover check on Leila. I'd like to know the opinion of Corrie's family on the Circle of the Goddess too.
There is one thing I'm not sure whether its intentional or not:
“Ooh, I think it’s a bit too greasy there to want to put cards down! I suppose I could always clean the counters more often.”
Well, given that...
Well, given that she is working in a diner (as Corrie just stated in the sentence before and is also stated further down), and she just said that the counter is too greasy, it makes sense that she said "I" could clean it more often (when working), then it would be not so greasy and then she could read the cards for the customers (where most of that is implied)...
...but you are right it seems indeed a bit off, I stumbled over that also - but after reading over it again and reading on it made sense...
mjkj
Oops!
You're right, I did put it in the wrong spot. Should be fixed now.
As for the counters, yes, cleaning them is one of the jobs Corrie's grandmother does at the diner.
a minor detail can change the perception...
Well this is all obvious now, but I forgot that Corrie's family lives nearby and if it was mentioned, I completely missed that her grandmother worked at this diner. It would be a lot clearer if that fact was mentioned/implied somewhere in this chapter or the last. In hindsight that makes the comment on not needing to cook the food herself (chapter 7) a lot more logical.
Hmm...
I'm pretty sure Corrie mentioned that her grandmother works in a diner in the first chapter of this book. Is that not close enough? Any suggestions for where I could slip in the info again?
(this is far more difficult than I expected)
Totally true. I suppose with us desperately waiting for news on Leila and the exciting prospect of Dawn's aunt moving into town, the "boring" parts of the first chapter went relatively unnoticed. And there isn't any emphasis on this fact, the work at the diner is only mentioned as a minor detail. Which by itself fits really well, but it led to this misunderstanding.
I'm no native speaker, so I can't really judge the situation.
To me "they could clean (this) more often" feels like the typical phrase for a customer in a restaurant.
"...perhaps I should clean the counters more often", would imply her responsibility for it and implies that the "I" is intentional, or perhaps "...for your customers at the diner...” in the previous sentence works too.
I can't say if those are sensible choices, but I can't think of any other way that wouldn't feel out of place.
OK
I will change it to "your"... that seems the simplest way. I also just noticed that there's no space before that line of Grandma's, so that's probably not helping, either.
I think I will change the second sentence too...
I think it is clear - if ...
...you read it more often....
....but I think if you'd mention the diner a bit more often it becomes clearer.
It is true, Corrie mentioned it in chapter 1:
“Your grandmother still works?” asked Naomi.
Corrie nodded. “She’s not that old. She just turned sixty-one, actually. She works at a diner. What about you, Naomi?”
... but with all the mysteries about Leila still suppressed and given that chapter 1 was posted more than two weeks ago — so it might be different if you read it all at once / in one go — but after two and a half weeks, the memory of it was nearly inexistent...
In chapter 7 grandma mentions that she like to eat something I haven’t had to prepare myself. which makes more sense if you have that in mind that she works at a diner. Maybe you can convince Corrie to ask her how the work at the diner is (and maybe crack a joke about that or grandma answering with a running joke...)
...or when Corrie sniffs the air she could ask grandma what it is and she answering something like: smells like the ... we cook at the diner - or answers something then adds I wonder if they are as good/bad as they are at my work at the diner...
...or you could let Corrie ask as she greets them: Was traffic bad?” and add "...or where you stuck at the diner?" or "...did your boss at the diner keep you/did not let you go?"
...or since grandma and Corrie are just talking about school etc. why not just add a short sequence where she asks grandma or grandma just talks about the diner or about the chef at the diner where she works did something / got a new apprentice etc...
...but, and here I agree with Eldoran, the easiest way - independent of the previous chapters - is changing the "the" into a "your" in this sentence: “You could do readings for the -> your customers at the diner,” Corrie suggested. but that leaves the ...something I haven’t had to prepare myself. still in the dark...
...or you can change that, and let Corrie respond to grandma's ...something I haven’t had to prepare myself. with a question concerning the diner - if all is well, if she still enjoys working there, how is the new collegue etc.
mjkj
All caught up!
And very speculative stuff :) Nice!
Hey
When they finally had some food—for Corrie, it was fried chicken and corn on the cob, even though it was a little late in the year for that combination—they looked around for a table.
ummm so what's with pointing that out? you write so...directly lol
Not sure what you're asking
They got food, Corrie got something specific, and then they couldn't sit down right away because they had to look for a table. Shouldn't I write down what's happening in the story? Do you think another author would write it differently?
I believe ...
I believe it was kind of a compliment of your writing style — that you even include "unnecessary"*/trivial things like that it is almost out of season for this food combination – which is really ok - you write it as Corrie's point of view and that is her opinion – and that you take care of it in detail and straightforward — you could have left all the details out and just wrote "and they ate" for that whole paragraph - but the way you did and do it is more interesting and enjoyable and adds to the story. :)
mjkj
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* at least for the progress of the story
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